Torn Between Laughter and Tears

I watched this video

and I don't know if I laughed because everybody in the video is laughing, or AT the people laughing. All I know is, I laughed for the entire duration and had to pause it halfway cos my tummy was hurting so bad! Okay, so I don't have abs. Hmph.

Real funny shit, much needed these days with our favourite Bolehland leaders running around trying to see how much money they can spend.

"Oh my GAWWDDDD so much monehhhh!!! How to spend how to speendddd syok tetek giler dowhhh!!!"

Seriously, if I could ask one question, it'd be 

"What the FUCK for?"

Cos honestly, RM5 billion? 

How about scholarships for poor, deserving students who will then be able to serve the Government and slow the brain drain somewhat?

And gosh, better healthcare? What about that? What is the point of having government hospitals that constantly suffer shortages, causing people to go to private ones? And now with the increased service tax, private hospitals will be even harder to afford, not like they were even cheap in the first place. Insurance will become more expensive. So basically, if we fall ill, we should just sit at home and wait to die. Is that it? Then who's going to fill up 100 floors of space?

Oooh oooh I know! How about sitting down, and thinking of the rakyat instead of how the other presidents would be soooo impressed at how the lift has buttons from G to 100?

Fuck this shit. I want to live on the moon.

I hope the Man on the Moon is good-lookin'.

Happy Malaysia Day and Reasons Why I Can't Return To China

Watch this heart-warming Malaysia Day ad by Digi!

I know, I know, the more cynical will scoff at how PR stunts will OBVIOUSLY appeal to the emotions, and that there are so many unresolved issues in the country, issues that an ad cannot possibly tackle or resolve.

And yes, that is true, but what I love about this ad is how everybody has different ways of looking at one thing. And that's how we are! Every racial group or political group or mamak stall group will have an opinion. Why can't all opinions be heard, and the best one be used to better the country we all live in? I mean, power struggles are all well and good, but if your power struggle screws up the whole country in the process, then whether or not you win the scuffle, you're still a loser. Because you'd be in charge of a sinking ship.

It's really about time we all use our differences to give us an advantage over other people!

I mean, if all the so-called 'immigrants' had to hoof it back to their ancestral lands, this country will become like most other countries.. BORING. Pfft. Just one race? Just one culture? No variety to spice life up? Ergh.

And while I'm on this note, there are some things I want to say to those who say 'balik negara asal'.

1. I was born here, assholes.

2. If you put me on a plane to China, I would eventually make a big circle and end up back here. Negara asal ma. This is it la.

3. Also, can't speak Chinese. So, I would probably fall over and die, not knowing how to say "Shelter, for the love of God, give me shelter!"

4. Where would I get my rendang or banana leaf rice if I was in China? DENYING ME MY FOOD IS CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT, OKAY.

5. Most of my friends will be super far away cos they don't have ancestors from China like me. T____T

6. And, obviously, Malaysia will be a darker, sadder place if May Lee left to live in some icy corner of China, near the factories where they produce poisonous things that kill people wtf.

So yeah. I think we all agree that this whole negara asal thing sucks major balls?

Awesome.

Happy Malaysia Day (a day in advance)!