Rite of Passage!

I think there are milestones that mark the lives of women, and one such milestone is

HER FIRST BIKINI!

Yes, I finally have one, thanks to the Christinas!

Chris Tan and Chrissy

Birthday pressie, but I never really got around to taking pics (in it, and of it). Well, the pics have all been taken but the ones of me in it will not be published for the sake of your eyes.You're most welcome.

Here it is, May Lee-less!

Isn't it gorgeous? Quick; someone, ANYONE, TAKE ME TO THE BEACH!

Yes, my friends know of my not-state-secret: My love of Disney Princesses. So, the box (Chrissy made it herself!) is all DP-ed in a way that made me clutch the box in awe (I was actually distracted from the pressie inside! That's how much I love me my cartoons!) and wonder. 

Ooops, pic not rotated. Nevermind, rotate your head.

Lookit that! Dear PRINCESS May Lee. *beams*

'Nuff said.

Hand Me The Bleach...

...I need to clean my brain. No, I haven't been doing/looking at/watching anything I shouldn't have. Ironically, my trauma comes from a desire to keep abreast of current news. Who said it's good to read the papers? FML.

Nek Wook wants a baby

Nek Wook, the 108 year-old cougar (she puts other cougars like Demi Moore to shame, woot! Malaysia Boleh!) and her recently-released-from-rehab-ex-druggie-toyboy (at 38, the word BOY is debatable; but compared to her, he's practically a beardless stripling) want to have a child.

As in, a real baby.

Oh, and here's the bit that made me want to pour Clorox into my brain by way of my eyeballs.

“We tried (to have a baby) earlier but my wife’s age factor was an obstacle." ~ disgusting fetish man, a.k.a Druggie Hubby. HOLY GOD, WTF! SHE'S ONE HUNDRED AND FUCKING EIGHT! DUDE! GO BACK TO REHAB, YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY NOT OKAY YET!

"We tried it the normal way, but my wife menopaused five decades ago, oops. We forgot. Hey, give us a baby!"

 So yeah, they now want to adopt a child, ala Brangelina (but just a teensy bit older). 

"Mohd Noor said that on their way back from Pasir Mas, Kelantan, yesterday, his wife pointed out to him a shop selling mittens and baby products.
“When I looked at her gesture, I realised that she badly wanted a baby,” he said, adding that they would prefer a toddler as he would be easier to take care of.
“I can’t expect my wife to be running around at her age when I have to work to fend for my family,” he said."

*cue hysterical laughter* The man must still be on drugs.

How are toddlers easier to take care of?

Uh. Good luck. Hey, maybe if you feed the kid drugs (share share a bit la, you're his dad!), he'd be REALLY easy to care for.

"I can have sex at 108 - I can handle ANYTHING!"

 "Mommy, you're so YOUNG!"

P/S: Play safe, heed the condom ad (Not you, Egg-less Grandma and Druggie Hubby.)

Ingenuity, Thy Name is UKM Student

This is my friend Christina.

This is Christina's drawer.

20 rolls of toilet paper, God only knows how many packets of tissue, 6 bars of Dettol soap.. the list continues. I get a kick out of showing visitors her drawer, which can double up as a kedai runcit (convenience store).

However, as we realised one fine day, she has 20 rolls of toilet paper

BUT NO CUPS.

This is how we sophisticated university students take our drinks.

Yup, Tupperware.

We were driven to desperation.

Literature students are taught to think out of the box, you know!

In case you were wondering why I didn't volunteer any cups of my own:

I didn't bring any, either. *shamefaced*

*babbles incoherently*

We can finally see Enrique Iglesias - ALL of Enrique Iglesias - and we don't even have to risk jail time!

Ladies, stop pinching yourselves. This is NOT a drill. I repeat, 

THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

Read THIS

Enrique Iglesias Promises To Keep One Drunk, Seksi Bet!

 

and try not to squeal.

 

 Madre de Dios!

Holland wha-?

¡Viva España!

Why I Am Not An iClone

And THIS is one of the reasons why I am not (for now; I may be seduced at any moment) an iClone.

Sorry it's kinda small, if it was larger, the edges would've been gone! Read the full-sized one here!

Anyway, in case you don't already know, this comic is drawn by this awesome guy named The Oatmeal (his website is here! His comics and quizzes are all the products of a one-man-show, and you can actually buy signed prints and comic books off his site (buy themmm!  Then he can continue filling the world with his satirical awesomeness).

Other examples of his work:

Take the quiz! How many hungry weasels will you save from starvation?

Are you sure you're using it properly? *Glares suspiciously*

The 8 phases we ALL go through. Yes, even you. AND you. Don't deny it.

As you can tell, he creates masterpieces out of just about any subject. Angler fish? Done! Why you should ride a polar bear to work? Also done! So what are you waiting for? Go go check out his site! Oh, and Oatmeal, if you're reading this, I'm sorry I reproduced your comics without permission. Don't sue =(

THIS IS NOT A WC FINALS POST

Because the pics I took for it are stuck in my camera COS I didn't put the memory card in it before taking pictures, and didn't bring the USB cable to UKM either. 

*intense frustration*

Anyway. Holland lost and Spain won, boo. I fell asleep somewhere in the 2nd half of the game because 

1. I was sleepy, and

2. Spain's style of playing (slowwww) is not syok enough! David Villa looking brooding and sweaty (YUM) and Casilla's amazing leaping skills (EYE-POPPING) are not enough to keep a girl awake, sorry. Holland just wasn't good enough, I guess.. I was supporting Holland, not because I love them, but mostly because I don't really like Spain. Oh well.

So, congrats Spain! Next round, Germany FTW!

Oh, and to celebrate the end of Football Fever Month, here's an instructional video for those thinking of doing something to look good for their no-longer-distracted-by-footy men, but do not want to go under the knife.

HOW TO TRICK PEOPLE INTO THINKING YOU'RE GOOD-LOOKING.

Why Plastic Scoops Do Not Make Good Hammers

"Hey babe, check this out!" BAM BAM BAM

*crack* "Uh oh"

 See that horizontal line? IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE.

Moral of the story?

Chrissy is not a handiwoman.

But she's awesome at everything else! Hani and Chrissy helped me carry all my stuff up 6 flights of stairs to reach my new room (thanks babes xoxoxoxo), AND Chrissy helped to clean my room! Was too exhausted to take any pictures, so no pictures. I will take some soon though, because my room has an excellent view of the jungle trees! Cantik giler, no kidding. You get a sense of absolute peace, just sitting on the floor looking out the window. I just hope that the monkeys don't come in! Being on the fourth floor, I somehow doubt that they will, but they are resourceful little buggers, monkeys are.

I once heard a story of how one girl entered her room, only to find a dead monkey on the floor with an empty bottle of Clorox next to it. Case of curiosity killed the monkey?

"Hah? Bodo!"

You took the words right out of my mouth, Mr. Monkey.