Happy Malaysia Day and Reasons Why I Can't Return To China

Watch this heart-warming Malaysia Day ad by Digi!

I know, I know, the more cynical will scoff at how PR stunts will OBVIOUSLY appeal to the emotions, and that there are so many unresolved issues in the country, issues that an ad cannot possibly tackle or resolve.

And yes, that is true, but what I love about this ad is how everybody has different ways of looking at one thing. And that's how we are! Every racial group or political group or mamak stall group will have an opinion. Why can't all opinions be heard, and the best one be used to better the country we all live in? I mean, power struggles are all well and good, but if your power struggle screws up the whole country in the process, then whether or not you win the scuffle, you're still a loser. Because you'd be in charge of a sinking ship.

It's really about time we all use our differences to give us an advantage over other people!

I mean, if all the so-called 'immigrants' had to hoof it back to their ancestral lands, this country will become like most other countries.. BORING. Pfft. Just one race? Just one culture? No variety to spice life up? Ergh.

And while I'm on this note, there are some things I want to say to those who say 'balik negara asal'.

1. I was born here, assholes.

2. If you put me on a plane to China, I would eventually make a big circle and end up back here. Negara asal ma. This is it la.

3. Also, can't speak Chinese. So, I would probably fall over and die, not knowing how to say "Shelter, for the love of God, give me shelter!"

4. Where would I get my rendang or banana leaf rice if I was in China? DENYING ME MY FOOD IS CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT, OKAY.

5. Most of my friends will be super far away cos they don't have ancestors from China like me. T____T

6. And, obviously, Malaysia will be a darker, sadder place if May Lee left to live in some icy corner of China, near the factories where they produce poisonous things that kill people wtf.

So yeah. I think we all agree that this whole negara asal thing sucks major balls?

Awesome.

Happy Malaysia Day (a day in advance)!

Sex: It's Not The Main Problem

My stand that Malaysia is woefully under-equipped to deal with the sexuality of its young adults is, I think, well documented on this blog.

Baby-dumping is just an effect of the rampant ignorance that has a stranglehold on Malaysians, and I have always shaken my head and tut-tutted at the lack of sex education due to the narrow-mindedness of the people in charge. I say that educating young people who have access to information but no knowledge as to how to use said information properly is vital, as the information they get could be incomplete or even erroneous. But many leaders choose to blame things like 'curiosity' and 'porn'.

I think it's not ALL their faults; they are, after all, OLD. And old people tend to be more kolot.

Combine kolotness and general ostrich-in-sand behaviour and you get, well, lots of people bonking left right centre thinking syphillis is a new brand or something and that pregnancies only occur after you have had the big wedding.

Nevermind that for now.

I recently saw an awesome ad on this blog, and like all other ads, it will disappear at whim (bah). So being smart, I kept the link for you, my dear readers! =D

This site is called 'Yes I Can' and is targeted at preventing unplanned pregnancies. Not the complete guide to safe sex, but somewhat informative. What I like most about the site is that it doesn't sermonise about how sex is bad and should only happen within the bonds of marriage. I mean, it's all fine and good to have certain principles regarding pre-marital sex, but it's better to recognise that more and more people are doing it now, and it is imperative that they do it knowledgeably! This site talks about sex frankly and advises people to speak to their doctors if they have questions regarding sex. This is awesome, because when people are super shy, they end up asking their friends. And frankly, how much do friends know? Asking friends is fertile ground for misconceptions and myths to blossom.

"Eh eh how do people get pregnant ar?"
"Eh you so bodoh, like that also dunno?"
"Tell me la! Asking you now right"
"Haiya very easy la.. you just do IT after you married la. Then after that pregnant one."
"SERIOUS? Then before married?"
"Won't one la! Confirm!"

This is what I was told sometime in Form 1. I believed that friend; imagine my shock when my mum sat me down to talk about the birds and the bees!

"HAAAAHHH??? Before married also can get pregnant???"


Conclusion: Yes I Can is a very positive beginning for what I hope would end up with a more open Malaysia, with much less ignorance-caused sexual problems.
If you're planning to do it, PLEASE learn the basics before doing anything. And by basics, I don't mean styles. I mean basic prevention methods, the common STDs, and hygiene. If you can't even begin to fathom what I'm talking about, then YOU are at risk. So do yourself a favour.

Comic-induced Stress

Heeheehee

Humour aside, I am now (unpleasantly) reminded of the fact that I need to make some headway on my damn thesis. Gahhh.

I just KNOW imma end up like the green guy. TT______TT

Why I Love The Internet

Ads like this will NEVER appear in Malaysia.

Look at the ahem-level broken glass!

And the model is.. well.. =)

And some wonder why I am addicted to the Internet.

**Update**
More reason to love the internet, hallelujah!
On Monday, I dropped LoverBoy's phone into the toilet (don't ask HOW it fell in or how I retrieved it, some traumatizing incidents are better left hazy). In a wild panic, I did what I do when I need help: I Googled it. And praise the good Lord, Google never lets me down.
'dropped phone in toilet' recovered a lot of hits that totally saved my life!
So, here are some tips for you, in case you ever face the same situation I did (and let's hope you don't).

1. Remove the battery IMMEDIATELY.
2. If you have dropped your phone in something that isn't pure water, rinse it off - it's already wet so further washing will do it more good than harm. Don't wash your battery, though.
3. DO NOT TURN IT ON! Turning it on will most likely result in short-circuiting, and will finish off your phone completely.
4. Disassemble it as best you can, and dry it under the fan or in an air-conditioned environment for at least 72 hours. Packing it in rice and/or quickly dunking it in 95% alcohol will quicken the drying process. The alcohol will help evaporate moisture inside the circuitry and the like. Obviously, you don't SOAK your phone in the alcohol.
5. Resist the urge to turn it on and check. Remember the possibility of short-circuiting.
6. After 72 hours, you can put the battery in and test it. However, the phone not working may not mean your phone is dead, it could just mean your battery is. Try it with another battery to double-check.

I just checked it after the 72 hours, and LoverBoy's phone SURVIVED! It has survived the ordeal intact except for a couple of wonky keys. And after being dunked where no phone wants to go! Conclusion: Nokias are awesome and Sony Ericssons (my phone is a SE, and has made more trips to the phone hospital - without toilet dunking! - than the Nokia has with a major water mishap under its belt!) suck balls.

I shall name thee Lazarus.

I would've just given it up for dead if it wasn't for the glorious Internet and the knowledge it contains.
Bless you, Internet <3

Burnt Marshmallows, Floured Cars, and BBQ Set Parts In the Longkang: A BBQ, 6 Damai Style

First up, thank you so much for all the kind words and wishes, my mum and I really appreciate it! After writing the blog post, I went with my mum to the doctor to collect the test results. As it turns out, she took three tests: one came back positive, one negative and one more has yet to come back. 

So there is a chance that it's not ACTUALLY cancer, if I understand it correctly.

Phew.

The final test result will be out sometime next week, so til then we are totally chilled out. Waiting is a bit of a bitch though.

Anyway, I said I was going to go to a barbeque and celebrate life!
Life is all about learning, right?
And I learned a few things that night:
1. Trying to rip apart strips of streaky bacon that have frozen and are stuck together = holey streaky bacon
2. Holding a marshmallow too close to the flame = fireball on the end of my stick! OMGWTFBBQ(heehee)
3. 'Decorating' one's friend's car with flour AFTER it has rained and the car is wet is NOT a good idea. Dried flour paste is mothereffingly hard to get off T____T
4. Lanterns catch fire o.O

Pictures? As if you had to ask.

The food! Marshmallows not in the picture, dangit And also, no picture of marshmallow fireball, cos I ate it right after putting out the fire *guilty*

Uh. Allow me to explain the modified lanterns. The plates were meant to keep the light drizzle out of my lantern, therefore saving it from getting wet and dying on me. And the weird things in the middle of the plates are actually fishballs. To, you know, stop the lantern from sliding off the stick. All ideas not my own, credit goes to Sharon, the owner of the head perched on my shoulder! One of the lanterns is hers, which is why I'm holding two =D

Why you shouldn't celebrate birthdays with us. Not only do you get floured,

so does your ride!
Look at us having fun here. Little did we know it'd be such a bitch to get off!

No, there isn't a weird white creature behind Mun Yee the birthday girl. It's her personal Flour Cloud (TM)!

Refer to Lesson 4.

"Only I burnt my lantern! Don't jellis plz."

 The host attempting to clean up our mess. Ooops. Sorry, Ryui Bynn.

Our host and the missus cleaning up our mess. But hey! Don't think I was useless okay! I was at the back, cleaning too! Cos I uh... well, I made extra mess at the back. *shamefaced*

Paying penance.

The BBQ aftermath.
Oh, and Lesson 5:
Don't forget the inside of the BBQ thingamabob. It can fall out.

And then you'd have to go into the bowels of the earth to take it out.

And if you think the work stops there, it does NOT.
Yes, I always look like this when I mop floors.

Look at this creation! Made with my own fair hands.
Not.
I can't bake to save my life.
My friends made it! Homemade, fml. I need to up my game, man.
And it tasted AWESOME! Now, to con my friends into thinking my birthday is coming again.

Happy birthday!
We aren't totally mean, okay. The floured woman got to take a shower and all. AND we cleaned her car!

Part of our Form 6 gang, plus a few extra people who are honorary members of our elite group.
It's been 3 years since our days of gambling in class and hiding handphones in our bras, but the bonds of friendship have only gotten stronger with time. Luv yu guyz *wobbly lip*

My Heroine Doesn't Wear Her Undies On The Outside

This is my mummy.

My mummy is a cancer fighter.

She learned she had cancer 10 years ago, when I was about 12 and my brother 2. My dad was working in Australia, and this incredibly strong woman took care of two children, held down the fort, AND underwent radiation treatment for her nasopharngeal carcinoma (nose cancer, in layman terms).

At 12, I had no idea how hard my mother struggled to keep her suffering to herself. At 22, I have a small inkling, enough to know that my mother is a stronger person than I can ever hope to be. 'Backbone of steel' is somehow a weird image to use on my diminutive, fussy, cuddly, chatterbox of a mum, but under all the layers of 'Mum' there is a stainless steel rod of a spine that refuses to bow to anything as inconsequential as cancer.

She woke me up this morning with "Dr. Pang said the cancer markers show that it's back."

'It' being that effing cancer.

I went numb.

She cried on my shoulder and I had no tears to cry. 

And anyway, what's the point of being the shoulder people cry on when you yourself are looking for someone on whose shoulders you can weep?

I only cried later when I called LoverBoy up to cancel our lunch plans for today because I will be going with my mum to collect the test results. Have I mentioned LB is a good listener? And an awesome shoulder for doing teary emo things on. All he had to say was 'I love you', and I started bawling worse than my mum (again, stronger person than I can ever hope to be).

My mummy and her friends at last-last year's Cancer Walk for Life relay event at the Bukit Jalil Sports Stadium (or something or other). Orange tshirts signify cancer survivors, white is for supporters. 

The lantern I made!

Everybody made one with a message or a picture, and we arranged it all around the track. It was really pretty, not to mention meaningful as heck.

And the message still stands. 

Mummy, if cancer has come back to mess with us, we're gonna frickin' kick its butt! Together! You won't have to struggle alone like you did last time; all of us are around now, and I'm only a phone call and a KTM away. Nobody should have to fight alone, and you wouldn't ever have to again.

And if there's anything I learned in this past decade, it's that life is only as awesome as you make it.

Therefore, I'm going to go for my Form 6 barbeque tonight, and effing enjoy myself (was thinking of skipping to sit at home and be sad). Because who knows what tomorrow brings?

P/S: Cancer, my mum and I are gonna make you wish you never decided to spread mutated cells in people's bodies, you fucker.

Solvil et Titus

I noticed one ad for Solvil et Titus on this page and I think it's super awesome and SAD wtf T___T

I would ask you to just click on the ad, but the ads come and go and you may not be able to catch it, so here it is! English subs for the bananas like moi!

Enjoy =)