Sunday, December 19, 2010

Don't jump, you selfish - Great. NOW what?

I'm probably going to get flak for this, but I just need to say that suicide is essentially a very self-serving course of action. I totally understand that a person who contemplates suicide is one who is utterly desperate and unable to see any way out of the bleak situation he's in. But does he stop to consider the effect of his death on other people? 
The mother who killed herself in spite of her ten-year-old child's pleadings. Did she stop to think of the emotional scars that kid will bear for the rest of his or her life? At ten, her child now has a host of abandonment issues that will probably screw up the way he or she interacts with people. Nice going, Mom.
The 45-minute suicide countdown guy. His ex is probably going to feel shitty forever (actually I'm pretty sure he meant to make her feel bad for dumping him), all because she decided to end their four-month relationship. And his sister, who took him seriously but was reassured (by him!) that he was only joking: what about her? She's going to have emotional issues that seriously outweigh getting dumped by a gf of four - FOUR! - months.

I know the general reaction to death, whether natural or forced, is sympathy and sadness. The deceased is described in glowing terms, any flaws are glossed over and photoshopped. But seriously, in certain cases, it's the plain truth to say that the dead person is dead because of selfishness.


The person who kills himself over loansharks: who has to pick up the tab? His family members. And they didn't even apply for the loan. Who gets the red paint? His wife. His parents. His brother. Who doesn't get their money back? The loansharks (ok, I know they're illegal and ruthless, but sometimes I feel sorry for them). Who gets off scot-free? The dead person.
The person who leaps off a building because her husband dumped her for another woman: she didn't write a will. Her cheating asshole husband got everything, and nothing went to her son. Who, by the way, is now living with relatives because his cheating asshole dad would rather partay with his mistress using his late wife's money. Where's his mother who should be there to comfort him in his fatherless state?
Oh right.

I'm saying before reaching for that bottle of pills or the razor or opening that window up on the 20th floor, people should think of the people who would be devastated by their deaths. By the messes left behind. I mean, yeah, for the dead person, things can only get better. All HIS problems end with his death. Loansharks can't follow you over to the other side and threaten you. Your heart can't be broken after it stops beating. But his problems continue for the people they leave behind. And for those left behind, things CAN get worse.

 All things said, people who contemplate euthanasia are not included in this rant. Nor are people who are tortured in abusive homes. Although the latter should try running away to shelters and seeking help, especially if they have children who need them.

If you ever reach a point in your life where everything seems shitty and dark, reach out to others for help. Seriously. You may think you're alone but I'm sure that there are people who care about you. Or contact the Befrienders if you want somebody to talk to but prefer to stay anonymous. They are non-judgmental, will never bocor your secrets to the world, and best of all, don't even know who you are.


sugarmouse said...

kudos to you for writing this entry!! agreed 100%

May Lee said...

thank you! =))

k0k s3n w4i said...

my agreement, however, is less than 100%. i'll agree that suicide is inherently a selfish act but as someone who once contemplated it seriously, it is also a symptom of the very real disease of depression. looking back through the clarity of hindsight, it seems like such a ridiculous thing to even consider but *sometimes* people are just incapable of making judgment calls even if their lives literally depend on it.

i can't blame people who committed suicide, the same way we can't really blame a paranoid schizophrenic for killing people because he was deluded. perhaps, if people can project a far more accepting, understanding attitude rather than be critical, disapproving and angry; there might be just that much more to live for.

i had a close high school friend who killed himself. i never found out why.

May Lee said...

that's true.. i didn't stop to think of it that way because this post was written in a fit of anger. my bad.

however, an understanding and accepting attitude may be lost on someone in the throes of depression. that being said, i know nothing of how to deal with a depressed person. i AM going to volunteer for the befrienders as soon as i get back from the jungle! i hope that in my way i'll be able to lend a hand to people, and maybe stop someone from feeling so lost that he takes his own life.