Oh God, Not Again

So, Twilight is looming on the horizon, making fangirls cream themselves and people like me want to jump off something really tall.

I do NOT like Twilight, in case you haven't noticed. Yes, Robert Pattinson is good-looking in a bloodless sort of way, but.. he's just not good enough to save this ludicrous story. Taylor Lautner is smoking, though, and is the ONLY thing that kept me going throughout New Moon - a movie I absolutely refused to watch, but was forced to in the end due to familial pressure.

                               Hello, you delicious piece of jailbait, you.

Thank god, they wisened up halfway through that waste of DVD memory. We watched the whole thing, though.. 2 hours of my life I will never get back. Thanks, Twilight.

And what's with that guy's hair in the Eclipse poster? I cannot for the life of me remember his name. J...? Whatever. He looks like Spock, and that's what I'll call him.

I HATE TWILIGHT, AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE STOOPID SPARKLINESS. Sparkly vampires? Really, Stephanie Meyer? You have got to be kidding me.

And I'll contain my horrified amusement at the relationship between Edward and Bella within this statement - Edward is a sick, sick, paedophilic old man trapped in a young (pallidly) hot body, obsessing over a whiny child (stalking her when she sleeps? omg. twilight endorses creepy stalking!); and this relationship is only widely accepted (and thought romantic! wtf?) because emo girls want it to happen to them. Yeah. I said it. Please do not burn my house down, rabid Twihards. IMO, emo teen girls would kill to be like Bella - the anti-social, socially awkward teenager desired by rich, hot, supernatural being.

And before anybody says that I'm judging without even knowing what Twilight is about, bla bla.. I read the entire series. Enough said.

                                          You think THIS is bad?